Family constellations is a therapy created in the 80s by the German Bert Hellinger who is a German theologian, pedagogue and spiritualist. Hellinger at twenty entered a Catholic order and was then sent as a missionary to South Africa, where he lived with the Zulu tribe. There he became a teacher and priest and integrated his language. He became increasingly interested in the process of interpersonal relationships. He observed the rituals of the tribe, their music and the moment of communion that was lived there, expressing common human experiences and the understanding of differences.
After 25 years of service he left the priesthood and immersed himself in Vienna in psychoanalytic studies. He was interested in investigating what leads people to mobilize over time in the same conflict. His method, a therapy of personal development, analyzes intrafamilial conflicts, where the order in families determines in a "theatrical" scenario the destinies of its members. We are all part of a family system, unconsciously we load with patterns, traumas that were very difficult to cross and unresolved and for that reason they are transmitted from generation to generation and experienced again by other relatives in later generations.
Hellinger argues that human behavior is mobilized by various forces. These forces condition us and when they are not observed within the family system, conflicts emerge, thus impacting successive generations. This family order is directed by a common conscience, which causes no one to be excluded. Therapy pays attention to the family and their relationships, as a starting point, to discover the origin of many of our emotional, relational and even sickness issues.
In practice the therapy is carried out through Family Constellations workshops, where a group of people meet and who wants to work, exposes their problem to the therapist, this is known as "constellate." Guided by the therapist who will be giving the indications, choose, among the participants, the people who are going to represent the members of your family (or the system that is going to be worked - work, school, affective -, etc.).
The rest of the people in the group also have an important function, since they are the observers of the process and will help contain what happens during the family constellation. The therapist accompanies the consteller while the constellation is developing, helps the representatives to express what is happening to them, with healing phrases and body movements. In order to reach a solution image. Many times the issue to be discussed is the difficulties in a relationship with a loved one, parents, siblings, partner or children. Tensions, conflicts and sick relationships located within the family become visible. It is possible that these difficulties arise from unconscious systemic dynamics of the person or from a symbiotic relationship with his mother or father. But often they don't go there.
The pre-workshop preparation is the search in the family itself and information about important events through parents, uncles and aunts. The events that occurred in the family have very strong consequences, which are visible even through the generations. The most important and appropriate questions are: Did someone die at a young age? Were there previous parental relationships with other partners? Are there destinies that made someone an excluded person, were these physical impediments, natural children? Exiles, pregnancy losses, etc.
The constellation leads to contact with what has not been overcome and that is in the family system. It is not overcome because it is painful, and we often avoid facing this pain. So it seems that for some to continue suffering it is easier for them to find a solution to pain. It's hard to understand this, but this choice is also a possibility.
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